Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Quick Flashes of F*cktardity #1

Just a quick shout-out to the f*cken useless peanuts at Utopia Records at Broadway in Sydney.

Send me an email on the 11th to tell me you're closed on the 10th.

F*cking genius, that.


Oh, and I see that my beloved St Louis Rams have signed up Trent "My Head Hurts" Green as their back up QB for the next 3 seasons.

He's 36, mind you, and the reason he's sticking with football is because medical science rejected him for use in scientific experiments as his brain has been f*cken CONCUSSED into F*CKEN YOGHURT.

So, yeah, excellent. After our porous offensive line allows Marc Bulger to be back-slammed for the 18th time in Week 1 next season, separating his throwing shoulder and ending his season, coach will turn to Trent and say "you're in". At which point Trent will smile and drool and point at the crowd and say "...looook....pretty colours....."

Of course, the NRL season kicks off this weekend, so the Chovster will shortly be publishing a whip around NRL preview that will make Rusty Crowe's f*cken pussy "Book of Feuds" look like the panties-wetting piece of f*cken fairy-floss that it is. Hopefully he reads this and tries to throw his phone at me, Souths-supporting tosser. F*ck him and the pink rabbit he rode in, in.

Stay tuned.

And a big shout out to my peeps Thumbelina and Back Door Benny Bolton, charging into the semi-finals of 11th grade Illawarra Cricket with the apparently mighty Rail Razorbacks. They are the team EVERYBODY wants to play in the finals. Of course Centrebet has suspended all action on the match until the status of Thumbelina's digit has been ascertained. A club spokesman refused to comment, but this from the cricketing legend himself (with no attempt made to correct spelling or grammar):

"do you know how many times a week u bump your thumb? if you didnt its about 49trillion times"

Rest easy, Rail faithful, your future is in good thumbs.