So I feel it's only fair to explain it to all the Chooks fans who are getting giddy and almost wetting themselves with premiership excitement after TWO ROUNDS.
Brain Smith appears to be a good coach.
He will improve your team by moulding it into a certain formula.
You will win many games.
You will get your hopes up.
And then the alien virus inside Brain will emerge and he will smash those hopes down down again just when they reach their pinnacle.
He will then follow this up by running players who are fan-favourites out of town year after year, and you will see these players return with other clubs to beat you until you resort to self-harm in a bid to counter the despair and frustration.
He will continually play stupid mind games (like never naming a starting side until about 25 seconds before kickoff) because he thinks it's clever. This has fooled Nick Politis already. Nobody else cares anymore.
And he will continue to keep picking a player like Matt "Sideshow Bob" Petersen OVER AND ABOVE JARRYD HAYNE.
And you all realise that it's only a matter of time, don't you, before Turd Carney does it again?
You remember Turd - I told you all about him back here.
Just remember that the slimy little turd has done no rehab, no community service, no admission of guilt, no apologising - in short, NO CHANGING OF HIS WAYS.
In short, he's still a drunken tool with a fairy tattoo of stars just waiting to unleash his 'inner fuckwit'.
Mark my words.
And if you doubt my soothsaying powers, let me remind you of this PRE-GLASSING gem from my 2008 NRL Sharks Preview "Special Fuckwit Watch": "...we all know it's only a matter of time before Greg "Knee, this is Head; Head, meet Knee" Bird does something f*ck-slappingly stupid."
You've been warned.