Tuesday, December 9, 2008

What's smarter? The Prime Minister or a Vermicious Knid?

Geezus H Titty-F*cking Christ.

Regular readers of this blog have commented on the lack of Chov-rage being directed at politics here in recent times.

Well that was because KRudd, Patron Saint of Working Families, has done so many f*cking moronic things recently that my eyeballs had f*cking well LIQUEFIED in RAGE at his overall galactic level of F*CKWITTERY and I was rendered temporarily unable to type.

But here we go with the straw that smashed the f*cken spine of the dromedary.

KRudd the Imbecile decided to gift $1000 to a completely f*cking random selection of society in a time of economic chaos. Somewhere in his f*cking peanut brain that made sense as a strategy to save the World and single-handedly overturn the woes of AIG, Lehman Bros and Jimity J. F*ckwit down at the Wagga RSL.

At the time it was meant to be some sort of safety net for lower income earners against rising petrol prices, inflationary pressure and interest rates.

It never occurred to him that f*ckwits doing stupid $hit with other people's money caused the f*cken problem in the first place.

But why would it?

After all, this is the f*cken moron who has a beer in the middle of a strip club and then is F*CKEN INSTANTANEOUSLY STRUCK BLIND, DEAF and DUMB for a short period of time (normally corresponding to the precise length of time it takes for the conversation to move onto another topic).

Either that, or when medical science discovers the nature of SELECTIVE INVISIBLE NAKED BREAST SYNDROME they can name if after this f*cking moron.

And this week we had the man himself take a break from flying a A380 Airbus DOWN THE F*CKEN STREET FOR MILK AND A NEWSPAPER for the ELEVENTH TIME SINCE THURSDAY to tell the great unwashed masses that they should take their freshly granted cash-wad and moan loudly whilst they blow it all over the face of retail assistants across the country in time for Xmas.

Never mind it takes a cash turnover of about 1% of GDP to make any sort of f*cken difference. And never mind that a few thousand pensioners buying another f*cken X-Box is NOT GOING TO F*CKEN STIMULATE INVESTMENT nor will it suddenly imbue the Treasurer Wayne Swan with a F*CKEN CLUE ABOUT KEYNESIAN ECONOMIC THEORY.

See the reason KRudd himself came out to make the announcement is mainly because it wasn't a f*ck-up (which he gets others front and centre for) but also because the illustrious Treasurer was busy at the time, puffing away hard on the pedals as he runs the Great PedalTasticF*cktacularDiscopoplepticEconomulatorMobile!

That is ripped off directly from the Wonkamobile, and I admit it.

But it also allows me to shoe-horn this quote* in:

Charlie: Grandpa, is this thing going to go fast?
Grandpa Joe: It f*cking well should, Charlie, it's got more gas in it than the f*cken Treasurer AND the Prime Minister.

*Warning: May be slightly different from original movie quote.

Wayne "Daddy Warbucks" Swan thinks the economic crisis actually started because he took a break and stopped pedalling when Romper Room came on the TV and he wanted to be a flower blooming in the morning with all the other kids. It wasn't until Mr Doobee came on with the music that Wayne realised his error and that Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac weren't that old couple he talked to in the shopping mall in Revesby when he was back on the campaign trail.

These people run our country, for f*ck's sake.

What KRudd needs is a good f*cken hour or so in the taffy-pulling machine.